In the future we'll all be gay
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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