Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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