im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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