Welp...herpes.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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