We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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