Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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