We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
