I don't think brook has ever known best
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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