so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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