you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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