i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize