Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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