i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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