i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
