Have you finally orgasmed yet?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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