Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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