I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
