i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
