I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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