i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
