on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
