Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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