I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
