I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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