my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
