So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
