i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
is wine microwaveable?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
