OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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