My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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