hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
