I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
