I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
