why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hippo gnu deer
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize