The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I need mimosas to revive my soul
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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