just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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