hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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