Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
