I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
That's intense
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
