Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
