Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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