So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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