and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
