after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize