I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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