wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
