Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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