That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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