I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
