we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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