lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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