I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just found puke in my bra..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
