I cockslap morals
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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