I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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