dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
