I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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