it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
