does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
