Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
