she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
