if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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