I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
